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The Mailman's Job

  • "O-Oh... oh dear. Well then... er." He gingerly took the letters, organising them very neatly into his messenger bag. He then produced a crumpled piece of paper from his shirt pocket.

    A good five minutes later, what had originally been a tiny scrap had grown to a shocking size; the map went well over the mailman's head, and only his feet seemed to be visible. There was a small pause, only interrupted by nervous humming.

    Eventually, he spoke again, his voice somewhat muffled. "I-I think I can manage.. Erm yes- could you... maybe, perhaps specify w-which world in particular? I-if you please?"

  • How things came to be

    As he remembers it, it was with some difficulty and luck a twenty- two year old Mark found a job at a private postal service, and he couldn't deny that he'd found the idea oddly charming at the time. Although understandably nervous, he was genuinely excited to meet new people, watch their reactions to receiving that long awaited package, and just generally having a story to tell.

    Unfortunately and for quite a while, the young man was instead given a position in the dead letter office, where mail deemed undeliverable was sent for imminent destruction. At the time he supposed he was grateful to have even had a job in the first place. But he couldn't say five years sitting in the cramped and dusty office did him any wonders. According to him, there was nothing sadder than mail that couldn't be mailed, and so it was no wonder that once the position for a new courier arrived, Mark immediately signed up. Imagine the glee and surprise when, not a day later, he was accepted with no competition.

    Come to think of it, he never thought to question why no one else was very keen on picking up the job themselves, or why his predecessors seemed to just suddenly stop showing up to work.

    But hey! He was out and about again, instead of being cooped up in a tiny office. That was all that mattered. His first month had him running around excitedly, finally feeling useful. Still shy, but now he had the chance to actually deal with people, one on one. His bike was at last seeing places other than the dreary way from his dingy apartment to his office.

    It wasn’t until his third month he’d realized the job entailed a lot more than simply delivering mail. Through rain, through snow, yes.

    No one mentioned there would be teeth and claws.

    A lot of teeth and claws.

    A mailman’s job is a demanding one yet necessary, and the case was no doubt different here. He knew this deep down as fact: someone had to deliver the mail. Someone had to do it. Still, there was always the thought, at the very back of his mind, that this wasn’t exactly part of the job description....? He didn't think...?

    But someone had to do it. They had to. He had to.

    Nevertheless, the job was not without its benefits: Should ol’Betsy ever get caught in a scuffle, repairs were paid for. He was a given a map that never seemed to fail him, and was always updated with the strangest locations. His mailbag was heavy yes, yet while Mr. Bartleby never considered himself particularly strong, it never seemed to get in the way when escaping a “situation”. He supposed it was just good quality leather.

    Plus, he had excellent health insurance coverage!

    And then there was the ever helpful guidebook, detailing protocol surrounding just about any situation you could think of—some that just seemed outright ridiculous. He supposed every workplace had their own set of strange rules. He's even added a few of his own set of protocol and notes, just for fun.

    Nowadays, you’d be hard-pressed to find him working with the same amount of enthusiasm his younger self had. He's... not even sure what drew him to the job in the first place, or where he heard about it. He doesn't remember his employer's face.

    But ever so loyal and dedicated, it's unlikely he will be doing anything else for a very long time. He may sigh or stammer at another expedition, but he will always accept the job, no matter how dangerous—so long as it’s within policy, of course.

    After all, if he won't do it, who will?

  • Job Essentials

    • Map: Was it always the same map? Folded, it always seemed to be the same. But the way it unfolds is almost endless, and the labels ever-changing. No matter what happens to it, it always ends up right back in his pocket the next day. Well, so long as he arrived where he needed to be.
    • Bicycle (lovingly named Betsy): The one possession Mark will never let go of. The thought of ever replacing his wobbly and slightly rusting Betsy is insulting.
    • Mailbag: The amount of deliveries the mailman finishes in a day seems to have no impact on the amount of mail still bulging in this bag. Somehow, and much to his chagrin, the bag is still the same size even after producing a sizeable package.
    • Uniform: With the amount of trouble he seems to get into, it’s no wonder his closet has plenty of uniforms to spare. Seeing the mailman without his uniform is such a rare sight, that people often fail to recognize him. Sometimes, even Mark himself has trouble remembering if there was ever a time he hadn’t worn it- barring pajamas, of course. That would be silly.

  • Policy Standards

    Things the mailman can do:
    • Deliver mail, packages and postcards
    • Give directions to a general location (so long as he is either familiar with it or has it on his map that day)
    • Allow you to follow him if you’re lost (but never to a specific address)
    • Tell you how dangerous a location is
    • Give advice about a location in general
    Things the mailman cannot do:
    • Follow/track down a person
    • Take you to a specific address
    • Tell you where a person lives
    • Tell you what a package/letter contains (he wouldn’t know either way)
    • Tell you to whom a package/letter is addressed to and who it’s sent by (unless you are the client/receiver)
    • Let you go through his mailbag (willingly, at least)
    • Tell you which post office he works in specifically
    • Quit his job
    Things the mailman can do but often prefers not to:
    • Sit and chat for a few minutes when on duty
    • Deliver something living
    • Accept food
    • Accept tips
    • Ask for/Take a vacation
    • Go on sick leave